Growing Up Together

As I have reached that point in life (age 40) where I can no longer refer to myself as “young,” I have been pondering what knowledge and wisdom I can claim for myself in my middle age. Having come up empty, I console myself that I really haven’t been an adult all that many of those 40 years. As a member of Generation X, we can’t really say I was an adult before 25, so I’ve been an adult for 15 years maximum. Not very long, and most of it was spent trying to figure out what it even means to be an adult. Shew – off the hook!

The question that then followed was: what business do I have trying to raise other people, when I have so very little life experience to guide me? As one who has read dozens of parenting books trying to seek out some nugget of wisdom, I can assure you that there is a dazzling amount expected from us. We are to be calm, patient, fair, open-minded, consistent, organized, reliable, playful, and a host of other virtuous things. Let’s face it: we are expected to embody ALL the virtues. Otherwise, we do a disservice to our children. But, surely I am only a novice at this business of being a person myself, and am not expected to have achieved these goals till 80 or 90? So I don’t see any way out of being a very flawed and childish parent who at best will slowly improve as the years go by.

The only thing to be done is to grow up together. And I suppose that sooner or later, the cat will be out of the bag and our children will figure out that we were about as qualified to be their guides as they were to be ours. As long as we all know that and are duly humbled, we should be OK.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. JL
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 15:26:10

    The thing I always keep in mind about Life:
    EVERYbody makes it up as they go along.

    Knowing that keeps me sane.

    Reply

  2. nicki
    Oct 19, 2010 @ 20:23:03

    Spot on….again.

    Really enjoying your thoughts.

    Peace, Nicki

    Reply

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